Our guest post today is by Tyler Horton, who previously wrote "Vowels or Vehicles". He continues to share with us his journey of balancing family life and school. He is in the first year of the MA (NT Studies) program. Tyler lives in rural New Brunswick, just outside of Fredericton, where he has been an Assistant Pastor for 10 years.
I remember looking up and
realising that the festive presence of our poinsettia at one end of the family
piano was being intruded upon by a set of three small pumpkins from Halloween that
were nestled awkwardly at the other. The
date was December 21st. As a
widowed father of three kids, seven and under, if I don’t do it, it doesn’t get
done. So, the blame for the lack of
‘Christmas’ in our house (and the lingering presence of Halloween...I should
add) rested squarely on my shoulders.
Of course I had big
plans. I was going to finish assignments
and write a final exam early in the week and then after a day to rest and
transition I would devote myself to creating atmosphere and memories with my
kids. Cards were going to be signed
illegibly and mailed. We were going to
make cookies and caramel popcorn. I was
going to mull cider so we could drink in the spiced aroma as much as the liquid
itself. Decorations were going to be
chosen and placed according to the preferences of my trio of little
people. We were even going to make
popcorn chains for our real tree (because an artificial tree is about as
authentic as low fat eggnog)! But now it
was four days before the big day and we had no baking, no atmosphere and only a
wreath, an old ceramic plug-in tree and the aforementioned poinsettia to tell
us that we were that close.
And it was all my
fault. Now I will freely admit that is
not those ‘things’ that make Christmas worthwhile. But my point is that I realised I had robbed
my kids of things that do matter by not getting my classes done when I should
have. It isn’t that we had to have
caramel popcorn, but they should have had that time of popping and stirring and
eating it as a family. We didn’t need
to smell the cider, but they should have had the opportunity to have it linger
for years to come and waft through their memory of childhood Christmases.
As I mentioned back in the
first post I did for this blog (Vowels and Vehicles), choosing to
begin this degree involves me choosing to take some time and some energy that
was available for my kids away from them.
Because of the value I place on the tools I am gaining, I am entirely
willing to do that. But through a lack
of diligence I took too much. Our
schooling is valuable, but not so much so that we can let it intrude improperly
into our other responsibilities. In many
ways I am studying for my kids, so that
I can be part of a church that can read the Bible well. But I must also study diligently and with
discipline so that I can give them the rest of what they will need from me
over these next months as well.
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