Asperger's and Academia: A Personal Story

Today's student guest post is by Andrena LeBlanc. She is in her second year completing her MA. Andrena currently lives in Wolfville, NS.

Asperger’s Syndrome is a condition I have, and it affects everything I do, including my academic life.  For those who do not know, Asperger’s Syndrome is a form of high functioning autism. It affects how people see the world and interact in it. Not only can it make them awkward in social situations, but it can also make them avoid
socializing all together depending on where they fall on the Asperger’s spectrum.

For me, it makes me get obsessive easily and makes me an extremely focused person. This manifests itself in when I play games. Star Wars: The Old Republic (SWTOR) is an obsession of mine. I get really stressed out, and sometimes angry if enough days go by where I can’t play it.  Some days SWTOR is all I ever like to do- at the expense of eating at times. Being obsessive makes me really focused on things. It also makes me very socially awkward: I often don’t understand jokes, misunderstand nonverbal cues such as voice tones and body language, and on most days I prefer to be off doing stuff on my own rather than being in large social gatherings.

If I get curious about something I’ll read about it and study it, so I know everything about it, especially if it’s a controversial issue. Some issues I’ve looked at include (1) executing prisoners rights and (2) are the black and yellow wasps really hornets or something else?  A lot of people with Asperger’s do that sort of thing- learn everything there is to know about a topic. I have a hard time understanding social situations. I struggle with reading body language and how people say things. I find that I often connect with people better on games like SWTOR or when I’m engulfed in some of my other hobbies. Having Asperger’s can be a frustrating and a rewarding thing at the same time.

In my academic life, it’s an ally. In fact, many people from history like Sir Isaac Newton were believed to have had Asperger’s. It helps in academia because people with Asperger’s get very, very focused on specific topics. The more I walk with God, especially after being a Christian for 10 years, I have grown more and more curious about Him and how He connects with me and with others.  This curiosity grew through my reading of the Bible, which is part of what lead me to faith, and it grew from there. During the second year of my undergrad, I took and introduction to theology course… and I fell in love with it! I realized upon completing that course that I couldn’t stop at an undergraduate degree in theology. I had to keep going, keep learning, and keep striving after God through academics no matter what. I hunger to learn about God and to know God through that knowledge. I think Asperger’s is how God gave me this gift of hunger for Him and His Son, Jesus. Without it, my hunger for God wouldn’t be the same.

Asperger’s does provide its challenges, however. For example, there are courses that I dive into easily and get high marks in and there are courses I have to literally fight with myself in order to work on. I know some must be thinking that all students do that, but people with Asperger’s can take this to an extreme. In a sense, if we’re interested in something we’re really into it and will over-achieve. However, if we’re not interested in something the chances of us working towards it are slim to none.

Yet I am able to fight against this side of me. This is usually by depending on God to help me do my school work, as well as making sure I’m in an ideal working environment. My ideal working environment is in my school’s library where there is quiet. I can focus on doing my school work easily. Unfortunately, I do get distracted really easily. Some days I think I may also have some form of ADHD on top of my Asperger’s. Hence why if people wander up to me and say “hi” in the library, I can come across as extremely agitated. Not only is it because many people with Asperger’s cannot stand it when they get distracted from something they’re really into, but I find if I get distracted it takes me more time to get re-focused into what I was doing.

Unfortunately, I cannot really share those things with the people who just come up to say “hi.” After all, it is rude if I were to tell them “Please go away” or “Can you not say hi to me when I’m working.” I have a hard enough time connecting with people and making friends as it is. Yet, I wish I could say something without being stigmatized.  These kinds of mind battles happen a lot. Which can range from whether or not I should go out for coffee with a group of people, to resisting my hobby obsession to focus on school.

These battles happen daily and can sometimes result in everything or nothing getting done in a day. Yeah, it can be frustrating. Hence why I’m trying to get a better support system for myself in place so I don’t have to bear it alone and my life with Asperger’s can be slightly easier.

So that’s basically it. Being in academia can be the best and worst of times for someone with Asperger’s. However, I know that with God’s help I can stand underneath my studies and emerge a theologian and Christian scholar.